IBM needed a Christmas card.  Oh, wait... they needed a non-religious and  non-Santa-related "holiday card."  No problem.

They contacted the Townsend Agency (which no longer exists, but it was quite large and reputable at the time). 

The catch?  They needed it in 3 days and it had to be animated. 

The super catch?  This was during the early days of viral marketing, when Internet plug-ins were new and people still used 28.8K modems to download e-cards.  So this little piece had to get done fast and be very tiny.

Conceived in a room full of panicky employees, this was written by Chris LeSueur and then handed off to me.  The president of the agency hated it.  The creative director hated it.  It ultimately won Best of Show at Chicago's CADM Awards, among a slew of other awards, and made the agency 100 grand in 3 days. Needless to say, I didn't get very much of that.

You can see it by clicking on Read More below.

Another idea that almost came to fruition but didn't is a foam rubber chin.  Popeye's chin to be exact. 

Several years ago I created this costume by casting my head and sculpting the enormous chin, nose and brow.  By using a rigid but highly aerated latex compound I was able to keep the chin light and pliable so that it would move with my own lips and jaw, but could also be held on with only a little spirit gum and not be uncomfortable.

Needless to say, King Features (the owners of the Popeye character) also thought this was cool and gave me the go ahead to get it manufactured.  Hong Kong was on board, right down to the prototyping stage. 

What sank the ship?  American distributors wouldn't pre-order without seeing the finished and packaged product, and the manufacturers couldn't afford to tool the factory for small orders.  Try to convince investors that giant rubber chins is a great idea when you are just an artist, not the head of a giant company.

In any case, this is proof of concept and intellectual property, so if you think you can make money off of this you had better include ME!  Thank you for your support.

Meat-Eaters Unite!

Perhaps the most fun I ever have is working on my meatiest idea ever, Cows Are Delicious. What could be better than a site dedicated to the meat-eaters of the world.  Hell, we're everywhere and rarely represented.

Maintained mostly by myself, Rum Runners' co-owner Angus, and a few other regular contributors, the site also lets any registered member submit content.  Recipes, stories, reviews, humor... if it's related to meat, it's on this site somewhere.  And that includes many of my previously top-secret recipes that should have made me a Food Network star by now.

Now if I could get my ideas to piss off PETA, maybe I'd get the media attention necessary to make some real advertising dollars.

Check it out here.

The Most Popular Adult Cartoon Character on the Web... and I'm Still Not Rich

They say everyone has three million-dollar ideas a year. I think Betty is a multi-million dollar idea. When I created the character she wasn't meant for stardom, but since then she's been on Playboy TV and had adult superstar Stormy Daniels co-star in two AVN Award Nominated cartoons. One of those cartoons actually won.  The cartoon "Stormy Bangs Betty!" was part of Wicked Pictures' win in 2006 for "Best DVD Extras."

Betty first appeared as a throw-away character in the animated Christmas e-card "The Christmas Blonde." The following month, I retooled the character for one of the most popular adult Internet shorts of all time "The Jungle Blonde" which still appears on Australia's SexyAndFunny.com.  Eventually the character became so popular I had to part ways with the site because I was losing out on too much revenue.  "The Easter Blonde" cartoon that SexyAndFunny.com released on Newgrounds (perhaps the largest Flash game and video forum on Earth), is still the most viewed adult cartoon ever released.

The following summer Betty became the star of her own site.  A year later, the controlling company Rum Runners was launched. Ultimately, Betty cartoons gained the attention of the adult film industry. Several cartoons still air on Playboy TV's Night Calls with Jesse Jane.

And of course... I'm still not rich.

You can check out Betty here.

Some Cartoons are Just Wrong for All the Right Reasons

The cartoon series "10 Seconds With Jesus" is quite possibly the funniest idea I've ever come up with. It makes people uncomfortable and that's what makes it truly hysterical. See what developed with Rum Runners' co-owner Angus and voice-over/ad-libber extraordinaire Lord Horatio Puks.

Born out of a desire to create something truly viral, "10 Seconds With Jesus" never really caught on with advertisers.  Mostly because of fear.  People don't want to offend the masses.  I say, bring it on.  The premise has been expanded to encompass other "untouchable" figures throughout history, which will hopefully result in more notoriety.

Click here to visit Jesus.